@JohnLyonTweets: Yelling at me for warming towels in the oven is not going to get the fire department here any faster.
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@Book_Krazy: Me: What's with the look? Hub: How would you like a full-service massage? Me: I would, but will you and the kids be okay while I'm gone?
@abbycohenwl: Guy: How many puppies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Do you know yet? Me (in a sea of puppies): No, they haven't done it. Bring more
@vinfury: Asterisks are awesome. *tosses a midget dressed in sexy maid outfit off the Eiffel Tower with parachute made of pancakes*
@3sunzzz: I took a Viagra just to see what would happen, I couldn't sit down for four hours. Narrator: Ursula should never be left unsupervised.