@GrandadJFreeman: Yelling "you're not my real ladder!" at your step ladder.
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@T_N_Crumpets: Dentist: open Me: *opens* Dentist: wider Me: *opens more* Dentist: wider Me: *opens more* Dentist: that's it, now come in and take a seat
@ka_unplugged: There are two types of people on Twitter. Those who can take a joke, and those who will copy it and claim it as their own
@ahuj9: Hello is this HP? I'd like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet and you sent me a printer.