@GrandadJFreeman: Yelling "you're not my real ladder!" at your step ladder.
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@thedailymarker: Husband getting dressed: Me: Purple and green don't go together. Husband: It works for the Joker. Me: My point exactly.
@BritXNic: My waxer just cancelled. So I'm making the best of a bad situation and riding around on top of minivans, Teen Wolf style.
@NoFlipFlops: Sit next to stranger on park bench, hand over envelope with random person's picture, whisper "It has to look like an accident", walk away.