@MrSpoonicorn: yells "PARKOUR" then strokes a dog the wrong way, the camera zooms in on the dogs face, he portrays mild annoyance
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@SardonicTart: Sometimes I'm scared I'll miss my kids when they move out but then I find a bowl of cereal in the bathtub tub and I'm not so scared anymore.
@Tylerosis: I say I want a gf but I don't even know what I'd do with one. Do you just kiss her and leave her alone in a corner? How often does it eat?
@DamienFahey: 70% of the Earth's surface is water. The other 30% is covered in advertisements for The Blacklist.
@LindaInDisguise: Me: I know exactly what's wrong with me, Doctor. Dr: I told you no Google. You Googled, didn't you? Me: NO! Dr: <blink> Me: One TINY Google.