@GuyEndoreKaiser: Yes, curling is silly and basically janitorial work, but that guy's gonna have a gold medal, and all you'll have is your joke about curling.
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@oxygenplug: [at party] friend: is dave coming? me: cool dave or dave who likes watering holes & has amnesia? Dave: well, well, well..who do we have here
@iamspacegirl: KING SOLOMON: I shall cut it in two, half for each of you. WOMAN: sure ME: OH GOD NO! KING SOLOMON: ok this is clearly your meatball sub.
@Phook75: It's bad enough I have to worry about people when I leave my house now I have to contend with Pokemon as well
@TheAlexNevil: Ran into an ex-girlfriend. We talked, exchanged info, and she said her "insurance would call" me. Someones still carrying a torch!