@Jmboyd58: Yes, I absolutely want to hear about your cat's medication.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 3-year-old: Daddy, I love you *hugs me* Me: I love y- Did you wipe your mouth on my shirt? Most of fatherhood is just being a good napkin.
@TommyKarate: Local video store is offering a chance to win free iPads, so naturally, I reported them as spam.
@Mikecanrant: A guy with a locked account just asked me why I never retweet him. Stay in school kids.