@Jmboyd58: Yes, I absolutely want to hear about your cat's medication.
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@Tommytoughstuff: PRISON GUARD: (shines the spot light on me as I scale the fence) I can’t believe he hasn’t dropped his ice cream.
@FeelsLike2sday: Looking for a nice, wholesome girl I can bring home to mom. She only dates nice, wholesome girls
@BCMontgo: I was going through a stack of yearbooks yesterday when I saw I was voted "Most Likely to Steal all These Damn Yearbooks".
@kentgrossarth: I've been interrogating this dog for hours and he still won't tell me who's a good boy.