@KenJennings: Yes, in fact I DO know what it's like to bleed like crazy once a month. That's my flossing schedule.
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@iGreenMonk: My girlfriend thinks my jokes are stupid, but she still wants to have sex with me. So, who's stupid now?
@Perfect_Beanis: in 2001 i was in a coma dying from meningitis and someone played "in the end" by linkin park and i woke up to tell them to turn it off
@TheCatWhisprer: ME: bartender. another. BARTENDER: but you just- ME: *slams fist on bar* ANOTHER [bartender reluctantly hands me another moist towelette]
@CooIStepDad: [Riot] "WHAT DO WE WANT" *far in the back* PIZZA ROLLS "No Jim we want freedom" "WHAT DO WE WANT" PIZZA ROLLS "JIM" But I'm hungry :(