@MartaEffing: Yes, you take my breath away... But so does a brisk walk, or the sight of an ugly baby. Don't be so flattered.
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@EndhooS: Girl: So, your dating profile says you enjoy long walks by the sea & making ur own wine? Jesus: ON Girl: What? Jesus: Long walks ON the sea
@causticbob: Q: Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? A: Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom! #HappyBirthdayBob
@TheSharona06: Sent him a pic and he replied "BOOM!!" Trying to figure out if that means he liked it or he threw himself on a grenade.