@MartaEffing: Yes, you take my breath away... But so does a brisk walk, or the sight of an ugly baby. Don't be so flattered.
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@RegularFred: Pizza is like racism. America didn't invent it, but it's hard to find a country that does it better.
@NinsunG: Apparently, 4 people die every year trying to put their pants on... - me, explaining to my (ex)boss why I went in with no pants
@causticbob: Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security? Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.