@tigersgoroooar: Yesterday CNN reported that "sitting will kill you, even if you exercise" and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but living will kill you.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@msdanifernandez: [during sex] him: Im so sorry. This literally never happens [takes out telescope to watch comet]
@torrami: Ladies: The "silent treatment" is not a punishment. Try the "sit next to him and cry and or frown excessively treatment" instead.
@MamaFizzles: Saw 2 of my kids hugging and then realized they were choking each other and was like, ok, that makes more sense.
@AristotlesNZ: Wife: How's the baby? Me: He keeps trying to shove socks thru the mail slot. Wife: Aw. His socks or yours? Me: Socks is the neighbor's cat..