@tigersgoroooar: Yesterday CNN reported that "sitting will kill you, even if you exercise" and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but living will kill you.
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@iRowlf: Nice hourglass figure, girl. Wanna come back to my place and stand on your head so my friends and I can keep time while we play Pictionary?
@Diversion50: "Get Well Soon" is a lovely thing to write on a card for someone whose home is without a water supply.
@SarahR_82: Violently swerving ur car will not throw a spider off the window. Doesnt work like it does with humans. Just in case u need to know.
@TEXASVETERAN: I just read a bumper sticker that said, "Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you love Satan." Sent from iPhone.