@Izianikapani: Yet again my date made me get out of his car before we'd even had dinner. Uber is the worst dating app ever.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@rajaet: There's only one kind of people in this world 1. who are good at maths 2. who aren't 3. whose dog can come up with a better tweet than this.
@KyleMcDowell86: Why do u wanna work at Burger King? *imagines killing the Burger King & taking my rightful place as king* "I haven't taken my meds in weeks"
@TheBoydP: Protip: Never look up from your breakfast if you hear the words "gruesome discovery" coming from your TV on the morning news.