@Izianikapani: Yet again my date made me get out of his car before we'd even had dinner. Uber is the worst dating app ever.
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@RobDenBleyker: Is there an app that makes the flatline noise? Bet I could freak out some nurses.
@SteveSuckington: If you tell me I can only have sex with your sister over your dead body, your funeral is going to be awkward for some of your family.
@FrenulumBreve: Crocodile: "See ya later alligator." Alligator: "yeah, I don't do that anymore Jeff."
@MatCro: GF: I'm moving out if you don't stop pretending you work at a supermarket. ME: Ok. Do you need any help with your packing?