@Izianikapani: Yet again my date made me get out of his car before we'd even had dinner. Uber is the worst dating app ever.
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@NouRahif: "Axe" is not going to help you get girls, unless you spray it in their eyes then quickly chloroform them.
@ThisOneSayz: My cardio is just me following my kids from room to room and turning off the lights.
@AndyAsAdjective: Wear green for St Patty's Day! You don't wanna get punched! -You mean pinched [flashback to the 6 people I punched earlier] It's pinched?
@briangaar: HELLO POLICE, MY SON JUST TAUGHT CUT TO A LEGENDARY POKEMON I WANT HIM TRIED AS AN ADULT