@yaboybillnye: Yo mama so dumb she tried to minimize a 9 variable function to a sum of products wit a karnaugh map instead of the Quine-McCluskey Algorithm
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@leannuh_renay: Alexa, break up with my girlfriend for me. Alexa: You don’t have a girlfriend. Wow you’re fast.
@ThisOneSayz: So you're telling me, Clark Kent never took off his glasses to rub his eyes and Lois was all, "omg!"
@PhuckinCody: me: ted is coming over tonight wife: i always feel ostricized when ted is over me: hun, *i take her hand* you are nothing like a giant bird
@InkedUpKidder: My fan has two settings: - Barely moving. - Could propel a hovercraft across the Everglades.