@yaboybillnye: Yo mama so dumb she tried to minimize a 9 variable function to a sum of products wit a karnaugh map instead of the Quine-McCluskey Algorithm
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@Zac_Franklin: my default response when someone questions a risky text of mine is "sorry, I was drunk." But now everyone thinks I'm an alcoholic so..shit.
@JimmerThatisAll: Zen master: Do you possess the Buddha nature? Me: Well, I've spent 49 days under a tree. But that was just laziness.
@SteveSuckington: Me: Hello darkness my old friend Darkness: please stop calling me that. My name is Susan
@FunkyFresh_79: [runs inside of a gas station] "I NEED TO USE YOUR BATHROOM! IT'S AN EMERGENCY!" *takes a selfie in the bathroom mirror for an IG # game