@withanewname: Yoga? No thank you. I'll download an app to my phone so I don't have to stretch for the remote.
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@TheKegKiller: Scientists recently discovered T-Rex hunted in packs, confirming once again that we should all send that asteroid a thank you card.
@djdarrellripley: Him: How does my football throw look to you? Me: Like you're good at science...
@CheryeDavis: This guy must really want to impress me with his endurance skills. Because when I asked if he wanted a ride, he said "No thanks I'll walk"
@realHamOnWry: After I die I want the words, 'Wow, this place is twice as big as my old apartment' engraved on my urn.