@TheTweetOfGod: You are free to criticize athletes. They are free to criticize you too of course, but they don't, because your job is dull and no one cares.
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@EJGomez: [sees a baby spit up after drinking from baby bottle] "lmao yo who invited the lightweight"
@AnniemuMary: I have 11 pictures of myself from high school. My daughter has 11 pictures of herself from this morning.
@SamuelHLowe: I live in fear of finding hidden cameras in my house & not being able to explain why I do all those random karate kicks directed at no one.
@gerryhallcomedy: If anyone on the street asks for directions - give directions to YOUR house. Then run home, put on music and wait for your new best friend!