@LackOfShame: YOU ASKED IF YOU COULD PET HER, NOT IF SHE BITES, MEGAN.
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@wickedsuga: I won't block you, but I will put a curse on you that you'll never be able to finish a sneeze ever again for the rest of your life.
@sammyrhodes: Ibuprofen is my favorite headache medicine that also sounds like a reggae professor.
@TheBoydP: Wife: Where'd you buy my gift? Me: Bed Bath & Beyond Wife: You used a coupon right? Me: Coupon? *wife faints*