@LackOfShame: YOU ASKED IF YOU COULD PET HER, NOT IF SHE BITES, MEGAN.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ojedge: Che: "Why do you want to participate in this guerrilla war?" Me: [picturing myself leading an army of gorillas into battle] "Independence."
@tigersgoroooar: Killer with knife to my throat: it's ironic how you're about to die in your living room. Me: actually, that's not really what ironic means.
@MenHumor: Nothing says I have faith in god like the six inches of bullet proof glass on the popes car.
@david8hughes: Judas: still on for Friday? Jesus: Friday? Judas: yeah, the last supper Jesus: the what? Judas: supper. Normal supper with the fellas