@Schmoodles: You can get out of jury duty on the first day by blatantly winking at the defendant as you give them a double thumbs up.
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@NYC_Blonde: I want what any normal girl wants in life... A great job, a loving husband and to be the wallpaper on thousands of iPhones.
@ShittyComedian: I like how all these people are acting like they've never seen a naked 37 year old man fight 3 security guards at a mall food court before.
@Uncul_Scientist: I'm not saying he's a gold digger, but he certainly did not hold back when I took him through the McDonald's drive thru.
@markleggett: I often think "Why would anyone live in Gotham? It's a shithole!", but then you choose to live in the shithole that is [YOUR CITY NAME].