@JasonLastname: You can lead a horse to waterbed, but you can't make it snuggle.
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@El_nacho_Nigre: If someone catches you doing something inappropriate don't stop, just do it slowly while keeping eye contact.
@shanethevein: I'm starting to think some of you are actually on Facebook. You know we just joke about being Facebook right?
@LurkAtHomeMom: I feel bad for women who say finding true love is the best experience in life. They've obviously never found their bra size on clearance.
@therealeatwood: [Self-Checkout] ME: also I ate a donut in the store MACHINE: Place the item on the belt ME: I can’t because I ate it MACHINE: Place the