@TravLeBlanc: You can only push me so far before I breakdance.
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@NewDadNotes: God: You found the Holy Grail! Me: cool, what does it do? God: drink from the cup and you shall live forever. Me: ew, that sounds awful. pass. God: you don’t want eternal li- Me: I said pass.
@TheHyyyype: ME: jesus preached about the virtues of forgiveness STUDENT LOAN SERVICER: yeah, still no
@ojedge: 'How many lights do you wanton?" "It's too bright, can you dimsum?" ~ Chinese chefs setting the mood.