@MrsRupertPupkin: You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, you can cry when the girl you used to babysit gets engaged before you do.
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@BackrowSeats: Laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have herpes. Laugh all you want. You'll still have herpes.
@BuckyIsotope: Octopus - 8 arms "Yes" Octagon - 8 sides "Yes" Octuplets - 8 babies "Yes" October - 8th month "No" I'm burning this world down
@Parentpains: Whenever I hear about a man jumping off a bridge I can't help but wonder how long he was dating my ex.
@MarcusTheToken: Whenever I'm on a flight and a bald person sits next to me, it takes a ton of willpower not to draw on their head when they are sleep.