@BritXNic: You can tell a lot about a man by the way he calls off the wedding and starts dating your brother.
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@okimstillhungry: Me:*typing furiously* I've bypassed the firewall and I'm hacking into the mainframe now Arby's customer: So is my order placed or not Me: No
@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: Guess what I did Me: Captured Bigfoot? Wife: I got a great deal on kid's clothes Me: Just so I'm clear, Bigfoot is still out there?
@datassque: yall tired of boiling water every time you make pasta? boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later.
@VerbsRProudest: When someone accuses you of being defensive, you can't deny it without sounding defensive. Just hurl a flower pot. No one expects that.