@Grind_n_Roll: You can tell a lot about a person by autopsy.
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@panmidwest: Having a mustache is a great way to stop people from drawing a mustache on you in permanent marker while you sleep.
@theshamingofjay: Divorce is like hitting the reset button on Super Mario Bros except now you pay for the Princess's castle and hope Bowser kills you.
@shadygeekdad: I want to be a host at a restaurant so if someone asks for a booth I can yell, "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE BOOTH!"