@dhumann: You can tell a lot about a person just by noticing how they continue to talk after you've sighed six or seven times.
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@SteveSuckington: [Shopping with teen son] *sees hot girl* *waits until she gets close* *grabs box of adult diapers* "How are you doing on Depends bud?"
@corinnemlwsw: My coat is so covered with dog fur that someone's probably going to throw red paint on me at some point today.
@laurascaz: INFORMER!!! Younosaydahdfrxqpgirnmekdmhgjwrztnhyenixblaamm... A LICKY BOOM BOOM DOWN!