@ConanOBrien: You can tell Charles Manson really loves his fiancée by the way he hasn’t murdered her.
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@iwearaonesie: me: Should I pack condoms? wife*laughs* me*driving* wife*still laughing* me*checks into the hotel* wife*calls friend so they can both laugh*
@WilliamAder: What's the point of making people like Paul McCartney and Elton John knights if they're not going to joust?