@Adar79Angie: You can tell how single I am by the way my cat and dog wear their sombreros with quiet dignity and acceptance.
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@NurseMurderer: him: what are you looking for on this dating site? me: someone who will hold the cats down so I can take pics of them wearing sunglasses.
@SuperJuanderer: If I was a villain, I would follow superheroes to their normal human interviews for jobs & note what they answer as their biggest weaknesses
@Pro_Jones_: (Court) Judge: You're on trial for excessive use of astronomy puns. How do you plead? Defendant: *leans in until lips are on mic* No comet.
@evanR39: Me: hey dad, what did you do before the internet? Dad: you have thirteen bros n sisters, do the math son.