@Adar79Angie: You can tell how single I am by the way my cat and dog wear their sombreros with quiet dignity and acceptance.
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@juliussharpe: How about instead of shaking hands we nod at each other and that way we both won't have to wash our hands?
@daemonic3: WIFE: Don't embarrass me in front of my boss, he's colorblind ME: Duh [later at party] ME: [to boss] So when did you learn Colorbraille?
@Dawn_M_: Someone asked me if I'd found my soulmate and I was like lol I cant even find my debit card.
@Rollmaninoz: *office* Me:… Coworker:… Me:… CW:… Me:… CW:… Me:… CW:… Me:… CW:… Me:… CW:… Me:… CW:… Me:*puts headphones on* CW: Hey just sent you an email