@RealCarrotFacts: You can tuck a carrot into bed , but it won't know what you are doing because he's a carrot
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@rajaet: There's only one kind of people in this world 1. who are good at maths 2. who aren't 3. whose dog can come up with a better tweet than this.
@AristotlesNZ: Boss: "Thanks for making me my coffee. You know what'd go well with this?" Me: "The antidote?" Boss: "No, a nice..Wait, what?" Me: "Nothing"
@Donna_McCoy: You don't hear much about Snow White's eighth dwarf, but they should never have trusted Clumsy with an axe.