@jazmasta: You can use your cat as a towel. There's no specific laws against it.
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@Swishergirl24: My husband picks fights with me like he doesn't even value half of all his assets.
@somelightcrying: [think of idiom] firing on all cylinders [post tweet w/ idiom + literal interpretation] mr. on all cylinders, ur fired [wait for 100+ faves]
@secondofhername: The downside of studying law: you think a lawsuit is the solution to all problems. *resists from threatening Dominos for not giving oregano*
@TinaMav: My top 5 exercises: -jumping to conclusions -flying off the handle -carrying things too far -dodging responsibilities -pushing my luck