@Vanilla_cupcak: You can't fix stupid but you can divorce it
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@MadcapsTPS: Yes I brought my own shot glasses and started a party at my table, but is that really a reason to throw someone out? Worst library ever.
@ChaseMit: I think police forgot which organized group of white dudes with shaved heads they are.
@Sickayduh: The mall crowd parts as I shuffle through after waking up naked on the food court floor. "Too pudgy to be a terminator" says one woman.
@Storminika: My mom keeps asking questions like 'When you gonna be famous?' I tell her, 'As soon as they find the bodies.'