@RichHarris2: You can't force someone to love you. All you can do is hire a panda suit and wait outside their window reading sonnets.
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@postcrunk: is the ultimate american drug watching an entire season of a tv show at once or getting married so you don't have to die alone?
@HatfieldAnne: Of course I don’t put Christmas presents under the tree for the CAT! That’s just silly. She gets a stocking.
@TheTweetOfGod: Today is National Girlfriend's Day. But it will never be National Marriage Day. The calendar's just not ready for that kind of commitment.