@iAmJuddy: You can't spell 'creative' without 'weed'.
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@truegritrumble: ME:John's coming over for dinner. WIFE:Work John or Been to Europe John? JOHN:*from outside* This door reminds me of one I saw in England.
@badbanana: For a one-way mission to Mars, we should send a blogger. Not so they can blog about the experience, but so there'd be one less blogger.
@Kali_Mura: Me: Dark Lord, I am your devoted servant. Please accept this sacrifice as proof of my -- Satan: I have a girlfriend.
@Bandersnaaatch: A fun thing to do is sit on the couch with black buttons over your eyes while your kids watch Coraline, then wait for them to notice.