@sweetandweak: You could make dinner for a toddler, or you could just cut out the middle man & throw away a plate of food and squirt ketchup on the dog.
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@trevso_electric: "Never Have I Ever" is a party game and fun way to find out who shouldn't be donating blood.
@Tommytoughstuff: [A giraffe walks into a scarf shop] *The managers eyes turn into dollar signs*
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I'm 99% sure the plane Harrison Ford was in is from the Amelia Earhart exhibit at the Smithsonian.
@LeahsLounge: Anytime I get something stuck in my throat, I drink some beer. I call this the Heineken maneuver.