@caseytduncan: You deplete me
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@The_No_Show: "DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!" he screamed at his phone. Everyone else on the train hugged their phones a bit closer.
@AndyAsAdjective: Did you dream of me, baby? -Are you a swimming pool full of Lucky Charms & milk? No, silly. -Then no.
@samfromks: *Enters $100 daily Fitbit challenge* *Pays marathon runner $20 to wear my Fitbit* *Buys $80 worth of donuts*
@MikeCanRant: Summer Safety Tip: Before swimming in the ocean, cover yourself in gluten to lower the chances of being eaten by health conscious sharks.