@caseytduncan: You deplete me
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@MomOfTeen: Twitter has ruined me. Just wrote "we'll deliver your load on time" for a transportation client and broke into peals of laughter.
@stephenjmolloy: [Job interview] "Can you explain this gap in your résumé?" Me: "I fell asleep on the space key."
@AristotlesNZ: Yea? Well who died & made you Batman? Oh crap..that's right. Bruce, I'm so sorry. Come on, dude, don't cry. Seriously, where you going?