@rickolantern: You didn't have to say "he's a male nurse." When you said 'he' my psychic ability of gender discernment kicked in.
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@TheRolo: Girlfriend Parents: so how did you meet our daughter? Me: we met at a nickelback conc- Gf: [covers my mouth] we met on tinder
@DurtMcHurtt: [dinner at brother's house] "So where are the kids?" Brother: I grounded them. *spits out meatloaf*
@matt___nelson: JESUS: so I'm u GOD: yes JESUS: and ur me GOD: yes JESUS: I don't get it GOD: I do JESUS: how can one of us get it & not the other GOD: whoa