@thatUPSdude: You do understand "Tan" and "Orange" are 2 very different colors right?
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@tonsmorecowbell: Somewhere in Africa, a bunch of orphans are about to be running around in confederate flag shirts.
@MinedOvaMatter: If you never include your body in your selfies, I am forced to assume that you don't have one. Carry on floating head selfie chick.
@ericsshadow: One time I got fired for being too drunk. Not for being drunk. For being too drunk. I miss that place.
@sarcasticmommy4: Me: It's been a while since we've had to take one of the kids to the ER. Trampoline: Hold my beer.