@arcaduh: You don't have a Twitter account. Twitter has a You account.
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@illiter8too: Hey boy, are you a fitted sheet? Because you're complicated as hell and hard to manage, but I definitely want you on this mattress.
@dafloydsta: DOG: Then he said "Who's a good boy?" DOG THERAPIST: *nodding* You are of course DOG: *wagging tail* I KNOW BUT WHY DOES HE KEEP ASKING?
@UncleDuke1969: *draws a line in the sand* *looks at the line in the sand* *decides that it might be time to vacuum*
@RedBeard3000: Officer: have you been drinking? Me: no sir 0: you were swerving M: Twitter O: oh, I'm on Twitter what's your handle M: yes, I was drinking