@arcaduh: You don't have a Twitter account. Twitter has a You account.
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@max_pad21: My wife just gave me that come hither look and when I come hithered she pointed to the trash
@murrman5: Hello 911. "He's back what do I do?" Brent? "Yes" It's the just the mailman remember "Ok, sorry." Bye "Wait, he put something in my mailbo
@OhNoSheTwitnt: My desires are... unconventional. (Hands you a phone and makes you call my boss and quit my job for me)
@OhNoSheTwitnt: "At least Donald Trump says what he thinks." Ah yes if only all racists would shout about it constantly the world would be a better place.