@Donna_McCoy: You don't need Crossfit if you have to get to the mailbox and back whilst avoiding mosquitoes the size of chihuahuas.
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@Swishergirl24: I was hoping to lose weight when I quit drinking, but it turns out that's not how pregnancy works.
@ericsshadow: ME: have you seen my keys? WIFE: check your pockets ME: nope [phone rings] ME: hello? CIA: check your other pocket
@NYC_Blonde: If I don't wake up with Britney Spears' body circa "I'm a Slave 4 U" and a rich handsome boyfriend then I KNOW Santa's not real.
@Swishergirl24: If by "unload the dishwasher" you mean take out clean utensils as I need them, then yes I unloaded the dishwasher.