@kwirkyKerri: You don't need to threaten me into submission. Just hold some cheesecake under my nose.
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@Dutch_50: The Carpenters: Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Me: Those aren't birds. They're giant blood sucking mosquitos.
@DrDogMD: NURSE: *bursts into break room* A man just came to the ER with a broken bone thru his skin! DR DOG: *looks at other Drs* I'll take this one
@Darlainky: I'm never more irritated by fashion than when I'm trying to stuff something in a fake pocket!