@kwirkyKerri: You don't need to threaten me into submission. Just hold some cheesecake under my nose.
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@bossy_bootz: Me : It's over & nothing you say will make me change my mind Him : 'I just ordered a large thin crust' Me : Be there in 10 min
@Cravin4: My top 5 yoga positions 5 Napping Warrior 4 Downward Spiral 3 Crying Plank 2 Farting Tree 1 Drunk Hasselhoff
@InternetHippo: *phone rings* SATAN: Hey I bought your soul on Craigslist last week? ME: No returns SATAN: Please. It's making me sad
@panmidwest: My lucky number is 17 so I'm really hoping that 2017 is finally going to be my year. Otherwise, I'll have to change my lucky number again.