@kwirkyKerri: You don't need to threaten me into submission. Just hold some cheesecake under my nose.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Daycare lady: *notices 3-year-old's shirt is on backward* It's cute how you let her dress herself. Me: Yes. She did that.
@PaperWash: Actions speak louder than words when you smack someone in the back of the head with a shovel
@IamEnidColeslaw: The Constitution says nothing about it being illegal for cats to carry firearms and this worries me immensely.