@SteveSuckington: You drop ONE baby and everyone's all like, "Quit juggling babies Steve. You're the worst babysitter ever!"
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@MartaEffing: Me: They were gone. All of them. Just gone. I've never felt so alone. Therapist: So, after the donuts were gone, then what did you do?
@hansabumsadaisy: #rubbishjokes Watched all Star Wars movies back to back with my friend. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.
@jus4golf: When my wife and I married we both agreed we would never go to sleep angry. Neither of us has slept in 16 years.
@robfee: No matter how lazy you feel, just remember that Goldilocks decided to take a nap during a b&e.