@mofrorock: "You go girl" - asking my girlfriend to move out, but sassy like
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@weinerdog4life: My wife doesn't know this, but for the first 3 years of our marriage I thought we were supposed to share a toothbrush.
@envydatropic: I accidentally pushed 2 for Spanish and the operator spoke perfect, fluent English
@TheTweetOfGod: The platypus is what happens when you take a perfectly good concept and send it to network executives for notes.