@CoreyKeyz: You got 30 minutes to text me back or I'm breaking into your house & responding to myself.
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@murrman5: [senses date is losing interest in me] "my uncle was the guy who did the rap in Red Red Wine"
@batkaren: COMPUTER: HINT: name of best friend ME: Jen C: Jen sounds nice M: Wh-what? C: Is Jen single? M: Uh… C: Answer the question. Is Jen single?
@SteveSackington: I'm not saying I have a questionable work ethic, but I just got called lazy by a guy wearing velcro shoes.