@FattMernandez: You guys ever smear fake blood on your mouth, put on a ripped shirt, go in somewhere and pretend you got mugged? PEOPLE ARE SO NICE!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@chris_isloi: Whenever someone is about to tell me about their day, I just cover my ears and yell "SPOILER ALERT!"
@FunnyTunes: Wife :'Darling, look. I haven't worn this in 8 years and it still fits.' Hubby : It's a scarf!
@aka_fatman: Morpheus: If you take the red pill, I will show you what the Matrix is. Neo: *ingests pill* Whoa. Morpheus: It's also a powerful laxative.
@NikiWithIssues: I'm gonna get a tattoo of me getting a tattoo of me getting a tattoo. Inkception.