@nicfit75: My kids are giving all the people on this plane a hard lesson in birth control right now.

@girl_a_whirl: A spider crawled on my son's hand today. I did what any father would do. I mean, Luke Skywalker seems like a productive member of society.

@IamEnidColeslaw: are you a female guitar player with a breathy, annoying voice? congratulations Starbucks will play your music, no questions asked

@tease: posting a sc story for 1 specific person to see is the modern day equivalent of gatsby hosting elaborate parties in hopes that daisy attends

@KrunkedRobot: Just burned 2000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at the grocery store.