@Elizasoul80: "You had a life. It was this long. Here's a rock." - tombstones
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@De_ja_vu_who: Deathbed confession Me: We're bankrupt Him: What? How? Me: I lied about being able to fold fitted sheets. I bought new ones every time
@Qu4rtKn33: Women who draw in their eyebrows are making a serious decision about what mood they're in for the rest of that day.
@kelkulus: The Indian version of "How I Met Your Mother"is just a single episode called "I Met Her At Our Wedding".
@PaperWash: *jesus turns water to wine* me: you can't just insert goods into an economy you'll cause deflation Jesus: my child- me: NO! it's bullshit!