@Elizasoul80: "You had a life. It was this long. Here's a rock." - tombstones
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@AndyAsAdjective: an alarm clock that repeatedly & loudly makes the sound of a windshield wiper going across a windshield that is not completely wet
@Stellacopter: Imagine falling in love with someone and finding out they raise their hand at the end of a long boring meeting to ask a question.
@Mindless4Miles: [orders pizza] Would you also like our cheesy bread, comes with sauce? Are you trying to sell me a side of pizza with my pizza? 2 please.