@Vodkantots: You had me at, "we'll make it look like an accident."
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@JB4Realz: Taught my grandmother that "Jabroni" means "fine young man" and it's made our time out in public way more interesting.
@chuuew: A local man died after a shelf full of routers fell on him. It was an unexpected LAN slide.
@david8hughes: [sees a dog about to get run over] Me [dives toward dog & rolls to safety]: that was close [sees a cat about to get run over] Me: car coming
@AndyAsAdjective: "I" before "E", except after "C". That's an efficient rule. Very efficient. Yep...efficient.