@Vodkantots: You had me at, "we'll make it look like an accident."
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@junejuly12: Whenever an automatic hand dryer doesn't turn on for me, I like to think my diet is really working.
@truegritrumble: Don’t have a nemesis? Make one. Key a stranger’s car. Start whistling in a theater. Sign up a coworker for mailing lists. Make life exciting
@ArfMeasures: WIFE: Carol's hubby gives her flowers EVERY day. I'd LOVE u to do that ME: Ok [next day] ME [giving Carol flowers] No I don't get it either