@briangaar: You had me at "we've got the place surrounded"
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@LoneWolfStories: If I'm your emergency contact, for your sake, I hope that hospital sends texts too.
@ObscureGent: The thought of two people colliding mid air while looking at their phones is the main reason I wish that humans could fly.
@girlnarly: [first day as a hairdresser] customer: can you take off a foot? me: *sharpening axe* no problem