@shesananteater: You have advice? For me? I have a $5 Starbucks gift card that's older than you.
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@MartaEffing: Turns out you have to *tell* a guy you're going out, otherwise you just end up standing on his doorstep wondering why he's in his sweats.
@AimeeHelene1: I feel like I might kill someone today, and I'm starving. So clearly the best solution is to just eat someone.
@TheMichaelRock: Breaking News: Playboy to eliminate nude pictures from their magazine. "What's a magazine?" asked every guy under 30.
@JohnLyonTweets: Her: You have selective hearing. You never hear criticism and only hear things that make you look good. Me: Thanks, you look good too.