@ErinEph: You have to wait 30 days to buy a gun but Amazon Prime only takes 2 days to ship live bees, no questions asked.
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@rickolantern: Luke is so old now he just uses the Force to keep the neighborhood kids off his lawn
@Brianhopecomedy: Giving my wife a bikini wax for the first time. Should I wake her up or just let it be a surprise?
@bridger_w: When I'm worried about something, I find that going on a walk is a great way to get outside, breathe, and think of new things to worry about
@jrza84: Actually told a girl who's moving to France soon that "there's lots of French people over there". It's a wonder how I can even bathe myself.