@ErinEph: You have to wait 30 days to buy a gun but Amazon Prime only takes 2 days to ship live bees, no questions asked.
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@adamlucidi: Christmas is becoming like that creepy friend that shows up to the party too early. The party starts at 7:00, why are you here at 4:30!?!!
@HatfieldAnne: A brightly-colored van drives slowly down our street. Kids gather excitedly. It is the Edible Arrangements truck. We are all betrayed.