@Sanbel11: You haven't Instagramed what you had for dinner yet? Please hurry up, the suspense is killing me.
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@realHamOnWry: My nephew asked, 'Do you have a New Years hangover today?' I said, 'No. Hangovers are for people who stop drinking'.
@ShutUpThatsWho: [invention of blue cheese] "this cheese has gone off" sell it "but it's gone mouldy" I SAID SELL IT! "fine" & double the price "are u ok?"
@farleftcoast: For Christmas this year I'm going to pay my bills and look at pictures of Europe and cry.