@PeterMolydeux: You know, my dream for gaming is where in one game you'll shoot someone and then during a game of say Fifa you'll see their son crying
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@UnfilteredMama: I’m inventing a swaddle blanket for like 5 year olds. It’s basically a straight jacket, but with a friendly name like “The Tantrum Hug.”
@Cheeseboy22: I eat my corn on the cob like an old-school typewriter. This is how the 80's cartoons taught me to do it as a kid.
@dxblarssonENG: I'm such a slave to the man working on a Saturday night. A drunk slave but whatever. Atleast my e-mails to my boss are hilarious now.
@jackiembouvier: Friend: I'm getting married! Me: I suffer from IBS. F: Why are you telling me that? M: I thought we were just stating unfortunate truths.