@TheMichaelRock: You know that confused look that old people get when looking at new technology? I'm like that, but with salad.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Chumpstring: I didn't spend 8 years designing this hotel so I could listen to a bunch of touristy complaints about the small cameras inside the toilets.
@MartaEffing: [breakup talk] H: Gimme one last chance! M: How can I trust you again? H: She meant nothing to me! M: Not that. You bought lite sour cream!
@Milla_Jacobs: I wish I had trained flies that would fly into the mouths of people who chew with their mouths open