@qwajo_jnr: You know that moment when you close a cupboard and hear something fall? That's the sound of someone else's problem
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@KateWhineHall: A fun thing to do is sign your kids up for a class they're dying to take and then listen to them complain about it for the next 8 weeks.
@GlennWool: when the news anchor says "if you know anything about the crime please contact police" dont call the police and re-tell the news story
@MeepisMurder: in 2nd grade we had to draw what we wanted to be when we grew up and i just drew myself with sunglasses on