@qwajo_jnr: You know that moment when you close a cupboard and hear something fall? That's the sound of someone else's problem
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@Mr_Kapowski: Wife: Where are you going? Me: I'm wearing my robe and boxer briefs so obviously I'm off to fight crime
@dankashane20: I want to get a medical bracelet that says, "Shy" so I can I just hold it up during social situations.
@TheDragoEffect: REALTOR: It's a great neighborhood. Wonderful schools- ME: And the Pokemon? REALTOR: .... sigh. Mostly Pidgeys ME: I think I've seen enough.