@GreenishDuck: You know that one cow in the field that's like 200 yards away from all his cow friends just doing his own thing? That's me. I am that cow.
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@shahrouzt: My dad recently fell for one of those Nigerian prince scam emails. I feel bad for him but I really needed the money.
@JoshuaHvr: Boss: "Are you texting?" Me: "No, I'm Tweeting." Boss: "What's the difference?" Me: "Texting would imply that I have friends."
@NotKarma: Just once I'd like to meet a person whose job is to make captchas so I can slap him in the face for making my life difficult.