@GreenishDuck: You know that one cow in the field that's like 200 yards away from all his cow friends just doing his own thing? That's me. I am that cow.
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@LeBearGirdle: Jesus: one of you will betray me tonight *checks phone* Jesus: WHO IN DAD'S NAME UNFOLLOWED ME?!" *judas slyly slips phone back in robe*
@BuckyIsotope: *being pulled away by security from flamingo pen at the zoo with a handful of pink feathers and a black eye* HE STARTED IT
@Sarcasticsapien: Having bad dreams is the best way to prove you can't even do being unconscious right.
@TheBeerGuy73: I'm at my most Ninja Turtle when I remove a manhole cover & jump into the sewers to avoid making eye contact with someone I know in public.