@cambuslad: You know that pain which starts at your hip, runs down your leg, out the front door,and goes across the street to the bus stop... I've that.
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@the_mom_dot_com: My husband is doing that cute thing where he would happily drive into oncoming traffic & kill us all while trying to find a bug on his leg.
@thepunningman: [hunting] "In order to attract the stag, I perform the special call" [clears throat, cups hands round mouth] "COME OVER HERE, ANTLER JERK"
@nealbrennan: Sorry for illegally downloading your music, guy who mostly makes songs about doing crime.